Prep Time: The Single Series
What’s a queen without a King? She’s still a Queen.
It can feel that these days you're the only one not in a relationship - constantly thinking when will it be my turn for my partner to come and show up?! Patience and Preparation my dear friend.
I'm sure I've said this in previous posts that it is so important to love the person that you'll be spending the rest of your life with. This person you actually need to give a lot of love, care and attention to because if you don't love them correctly no-one else will. If you haven't guess by now who that person is - it's you. If you yourself cannot be stand in your own company, don't learn about your own interests, likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses and work at these things - why do would anyone else would want to?
In the story of Esther (please turn your bibles to the book of Esther - the whole thing! - or just watch a youtube video for a brief overview of the story) we learn about a young woman called Esther who was made queen, but before she got to the point of where she was a queen she had to prepare first. It took around a year, with the special oils for her skin, treatments for her hair, food and other preparations just for the one moment to meet with the King - all that effort and she's not Queen yet. As soon as the king had seen her, he claimed her as his new queen. Now there's that old joke of woman taking hours to get ready for one event. Esther took a whole year in preparation - imagine that! Now I can only imagine the looks on some of your faces - a year to prepare to meet a man for him then to claim you as his?! Pretty wild when you think about it - however when I was looking at 'preparation' Esther immediately sprung to mind. The story of Esther doesn't finish at that point either. She had been granted favour in the king's sight - which meant when an order had gone out to kill the Jews within the land of Persia and all the 27 provinces - when she approached the king to have this reversed - it was. She risked her life for her nation.
I'm sure you're wondering what is the link between Esther, relationship status and myself [you and I]? The main thing I would like for you to take from this is the importance of getting yourself ready for whatever it maybe you want/desire in life. Things don't just get handed to you on a plate - you have to put in the work beforehand. Academically speaking - if you so wish - that is studying first, learning from others and then taking the test to show yourself ready and knowledgeable. Culinary wise - that buying the ingredients first, preparing each of the foods, that might include marinating overnight (patience), mixing at the right times in order to make a meal. So why do we feel that we only need to prepare for a few things here and there and then we'll be ready for our spouse? There is a lot of preparation on both yours and his (or hers depending on who is reading this) for the day you meet.
If I was to ask you what is it you want from your S/O, you probably could list off the qualities both physical and non-physical you want from them. But what are you doing in preparation for them? (I ask myself all these questions too!)
What are you doing to be the wife you aspire to be
What interests do you have? - you need to be able to hold a conversation for longer than a few days if this is the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with
Money - can you budget? What are you finances like? - are you money smart, or do you like spending it as soon as it hits your account? Have you got any savings started or investments?
Are you willing to start investing in your future even though you currently don't know where it is heading exactly?
What exactly are you bringing to the table yourself - beyond your good looks and smile, and your ability to dance to any song that comes on - go deeper than that.
What do you do for the wider community? Not everyone is called to run soup kitchens or run charity races - but do you take time out of your busy schedule to spend time with your family, friends or do you fill that up with Netflix, Instagram scrolling, napping or just lounging? Time out for yourself is important don't get me wrong here - but put the time in for other's too.
Those not so nice parts of you - I won't put examples here because you already know what they are - working at letting those things go, and improving yourself, bad habits you have. Look deep within yourself and spring clean yourself from the inside out.
Learning something new! This is one of my favourite parts - who likes budgeting though really?! A new skill, language, fitness, dish to cook and become your thing. Go out and learn something new. There's many apps, and websites to help you with this - go look, explore and try something new today.
Your health - physical, mental and spiritual - look after this you only get one life. Actually take time to look after yourself, take days off, have regular check ups
Prayer time - do you pray for your relationship (present or future)? How much time do you spend in pray covering their days as well as yours? Praying for their strength, finances and whatever else they need? [Ephesians 6:18]. Don't just pray Lord send me a husband/wife - instead pray prepare me to be a wife/husband.
It's time to put this into a habit from now. Not just praying for them in thhe run up to meeting them and in the early days, but have them under a constant covering. It is important just for him, but you also, spiritual health of your home and the home you'll have one day.
Love comes easy,
when you love yourself. - Gary Vee
Do you love yourself? Start even simpler than that, do you even like yourself? I was speaking with a friend from back home and this came up in conversation. A lot of people today, it seems, constantly need to be around others, constantly talking to others. Rarely spend time alone with themselves to learn about who they are as a person, to spend some time in solitude away from the noise of everyday busy life. It's almost like they don't like themselves enough for this. On the flip side though - don't be so caught up in your own company that you have no contact with anyone else. I, myself, will be working through these and I'm not giving myself a time limit for when I want the man I'm to be with to come along (hey might already know him!). But to work on myself becoming a better person, a better daughter, sister, aunty, cousin, niece, friend, colleague, citizen, the list goes on and on.
Until then does this mean you cannot be about your Queen business because there is no "King"? - nah love. You can be, him being present or not present doesn't change your status and your worth.
Ever Evolving,
Empress Nae
April/18