Freedom

Freedom of speech, freedom of information and freedom of choice. We live in this world, where on the whole we have these freedoms and liberties. But why is it so many of us who are free feel trapped and bound mentally, spiritually, or emotionally? Do we truly have freedom. We look to the developing countries/3rd world countries who live under dictatorship. Told what to think, when to think, what to wear, and have a lack of what we know as basic human rights. Some people are trafficked into this country as modern day slaves, sexually exploited, abused. Yet here we are with all these freedoms to be whatever we wish to be, access to a wealth of information yet we feel bound.

After a conversation with a good friend early part of 2017 (one day I might actually let you know who this friend is…until then continue to read) we looked into what freedom is - do we really have it? So nerdy Nae looks at the definition of freedom and what it can mean for us all.

Noun: the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants./not being imprisoned or enslaved. In other words not being in a state of captivity/confinement.

For myself - the Queen of Overthinking, sometimes the decisions I make can leave me in a place where I get trapped in the negative thoughts and imprison myself instead of balancing the negative with the positive. Sometimes just talking through a situation with the person you have the issue with or getting a honest (who will tell you like it is) friend to give their perspective on the situation you (like me many times over) will find that the situation isn't as bad as it seems. Personally for me praying through situations for clarity (which I'd admit right now I've been in consistent with) and asking God for guidance on how to approach - or not approach - people, situations etc helps with getting to a place of liberty.

So what does freedom look like? Does it look like that care less woman in the period advert riding a bike in white jeans? (I am still yet to see a woman taking a risk like that!). Or is freedom being confident in who you are, happy with the choices you are making and the impact they have on the world around you? Personally I feel that it is about taking out time for myself, and delving more into self care and not worrying about looking selfish. Reading the bible more and gaining more understanding of what God wants to tell me in each season of my life. Now I'm not going to lie to you and say in every situation I always feel like I receive a clear answer to anything that is worrying me or weighing me down. Sometimes I have to figure it out with the knowledge I already have to get the answer, and sometimes its literally a case of just being patient. Learning about yourself your likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. Now it has come to me that freedom is a process, someday will be great and others' not so great. It's about helping others - and in your self care and self love (not narcissistic love) you can help others also come to that freedom. Also having a healthy space to delve into these things - go to a therapist/counsellor if needed - I know I'll be looking into this for myself because we don't have to tackle everything by ourselves. Yes we have access to the greatest counsellor, but He has also given people knowledge, wisdom and experience to help you come through issues in life. I remember being advised this from a woman who on the outside seemed to have it all together, she shared with me that she has a therapist and that helps her. There is no shame is asking for help if needed - though this is a subject all by itself that I'll be sure to go into another day.

In freedom there is peace and tranquillity, within yourself in spite of what is happening around you. In freedom you can find yourself being a lighthouse for those who have seen the situations that you have been in and see that you've come out on the other side with your war scars and you're still rejoicing because you've made it to the other side alive. You're still breathing. You still have your smile. In freedom you can laugh - with a sincerity. You surround yourself in good company and release yourself from those that mean harm to you - that can include family and those you thing are you lifetime friends. In freedom or in the process of obtaining your freedom you can learn what text messages not to even respond to (may your archive and block finger be strong), what you won't tolerate any longer because you realise the royalty that you are and you won't settle for less that what you deserve which is the best my darlings! In freedom you can go out and do those things that you enjoy to do.

Freedom from fear! Now this is the biggest one for me which I am still working through. So following my holiday/vacation to Jamaica 2017/2018 I was happy just stand in the water as long as you didn't splash me, or try to push me in the water because I couldn't swim. I then felt this is now ridiculous because my fear of the water - even though I love being in water (oxymoronic I know) held me in a mental bondage. So when I returned back to the UK I researched adult swimming lessons as most of my peers can swim. My first lesson I nearly turned back out of the changing room and back home but I knew I just needed to concur this fear to step in the water and shocked myself that I did already now the basics it was just refining what I could do and then learning something new. Over the weeks - thanks to the support of my swimming instructor, my confidence increased and I became a better swimmer - much to the fact I could then swim happily July this year in the pool with no fear of the water - and I physically haven't felt freer! Sometimes it just takes that nudge in the right direction and surrounding yourself with the right people to help you gain your freedom from fear. But the first step always starts with you. I haven't been to lessons in a while however I'll be back on that soon!

Another example of where I have experienced the pure euphoria of freedom was when I went to Portugal with my best friend. For that long weekend break I concurred my fear of flying, now to the point I get excited with the whole experience of taking off and landing now (...okay 90% excited!) We visited a placed call the "End of the world" where all around you there's no sign of other land and it was a breath-taking experience. The views where simply amazing to say the least and you feel like you don't have a care in the world (well until you look down the cliff and see how high up you are!). It was there I felt like the mental chains we sometimes put on ourselves can hold us back from experiencing amazing things.

My simple advice: Write down all the things you want to do and make plans to actually achieve these things. You only live one life - ONE - so go out and enjoy it while you can. Yes I know that it isn't always possible to do these things, but start with something on that list. Be bold in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire. Speak up for yourself and others. With that freedom, please also remember that there is a responsibility for your actions and omissions. Hold yourself accountable to someone that you don't go wild in the freedom you do have. For myself I have a mentor who I check in with, pray with and have guidance and support with. I'd always urge to find that person for yourself. Also for those who are Christians (and even if you're not actually) find a devotional that you can do daily, be that through an app on your phone, or a physical book. There was so much I have learnt from simply doing that task.

Galatians 5:1-6 Liberty (freedom) faith through love.

I wish I could say that there is a quick fix, a shortcut to getting to a place of healing from the past hurts and experiences but it was through a long time of working through these things and allowing internal healing to happen and facing the truth and consequences of my actions that I am getting to a place where I can say I am learning to receive and accept God's unconditional love. [Isaiah 41:10]The healing process is ugly. It's not all bubble baths and aromatherapy. It's accountability which brings guilt, its getting to the root of your issues which is triggering and intense. However through the processing of reliving those experiences the freedom by darling, is oh so sweet. I find it amazing that the same God who paints the sky, that created all these majestic creatures made you and I. That He has angels that encamp around you, He loves you before you were created, before you made that mistake - no matter how many times - and that He is always waiting with open arms to keep you.

Freedom Empress,

Oct'18