Thankful

In my life there's been ups and downs; just like with everyone else. But I've told myself to look past the current storm and what's happening right now and look at what you have, and what will be coming your way. 

This will be a very short entry, but all the same one I feel is of great importance. As I'm writing this I have a Wretch 32's Church #GrowingOverLife playing in my head especially the beginning part where he asks what are you thankful for? Many times we look at others and what they have, forgetting what blessings are around us, what we've prayed for and received, and become like brats wanting everything all at once - are you even ready to have that in your like right now? I'm not gonna front and say I don't have similar feelings myself, but I need to remind myself "comparison is the thief of joy" and others would what to be where I am right now. 

1. I'm of sound mind. May not feel like it all the time when I'm having low days/weeks/months but I'm not depressed, anxious nor do I have any other mental health concerns. I'm learning the difference between all of these and learning to face my feelings instead of bottling them up. 

2. I have amazing friends around me. We may not always see eye to eye on topics or even agree; at the end of the day one fact remains and that is we love one another. 

3. I have a job in the career I wanted ever since I was a child. (Check out my entry in February for Jewel's collective bloggers for me talking more in depth about this. 

4. My mum. She has been my rock physically emotionally spiritually in so many situations. Not everyone can have this type of relationship with their mother, but I'm grateful I can. Even when she's going through her own stuff she makes time for me no matter how much time I need. She's taught me so much in regards to being an amazing midwife, supporting and caring wife, mother, aunty (swear down my older cousins Nicola and Michelle love my mum madly and I can see why). She gives of herself so much at work, in the church, for the family close and far, yet still has still makes time for my sister and I. Giving of her time selflessly over and over, I wish I could just send her on regular breaks from it all but it's in her nature to care for others and after a while I think she might get bored. She literally makes me laugh with her random outbursts of song, which I'm sure that's where I must get it from. There are no amount of words I could write down that would truly compass who my mum is to me. I'm just thankful for her and all she does - not waiting until Mother's Day to say this. 

5. My dad. All though seen as the disciplinarian growing up, he was actually quite cool (I only now see that). From young I could talk to him about anything going on in school, college university, or work. Taught me all the old hymns that are being revamped and modernised today and even though I swear I can't sing a lick he enjoys when I'm singing in the house and joins in with the harmony. Even taught me how to be sarcastic & shady at the right time! Right now it's a rough time for the family however seeing his face light up when I come home lifts my spirit. He's taught me what I should expect in a man, what is and isn't acceptable and that he loves him truly and deeply. I don't ever doubt what he's taught me will ever leave me, in fact I feel I'll be carrying it on to the next generation (be that through my nephew or my own children). 

6. My sister. Chalk and cheese, rough and smooth, Milky and CoCo, Naomi and Grace. this bond is hard for many to understand as we clash heads more often than skipping around the mulberry bush. But if I ever wanted an honest and direct opinion pulling no punches - I'd go to Grace. She gives your opinion undiluted and direct and now I see it as a good thing as I can never say "well you never told me that!". I love her to pieces and would fight for her anyday. Out home became even stronger when Lil Zeeky was on his way, and the weekly catch-ups of what's happening in her appointments with the midwife, even up to the birth of him I'd treasure this moments forever. 

7. Lil Zeeky. EJAAA. I love this little man as if he were my own. Those of you who have me on snapchat will know how obsessed I am with him, how I let him get away with most things - I said most not all - how he is literally a ray of sunshine anywhere he goes. I'm sure most of my photo storage is of him! The strong willed young boy will be definitely growing into a loving, gentle, adventurous, talented man and even though I enjoy seeing him grow - I do wish he'd slow down! 

8. Keisha. As started in point 2, I have amazing friends. But as one of my two best friends it would be wrong for me not to say why I'm thankful for her. With literally everything we've gone through separately and together (she might not agree with me right now) but she is a strong woman. The London girl with a touch of Midlander - we hit it off from when we decided to be friends. From the jokes on the 53 bus route, wrestling for chairs on the upper mall at school with the Post 16 students, travelling up and down the country for random days out on the train, crying together, laughing together, eating, drinking, editing my posts (except this one as its a surprise tribute) and finally having a holiday together last November 2016 to Portugal - we have literally gone through so much and so much more to come. I thank God for her and pray for her every success. 

9. Nickél. Est. 1991, my literal lifelong best friend. Not many people can say they're blessed with two best friends and genuinely mean it. Literally every major rollercoaster moment we've shared. To see her strength, determination, and pure work ethic is amazing. From sleepovers at her house to sleepovers at my own flat - stay in at mine when I was having lonely days [I'd admit it freely now] - making random cocktails and just laughing and putting the world to rights I do love this woman. 

10. My PT. Literally one of the most dedicated, professional PTs I've worked with (okay the first one but I've seen how the others work) GC took me from being afraid of the weights area in the gym, not being confident within myself or my abilities to someone who now can walk head high into the gym and confidently work by myself. He never failed in making me laugh during the sessions but made sure it was more workout than messing around, serious guy with a genuine passion to get people moving and working at their peak. Beyond the gym he also encouraged us to research deeper into how this world works, and not just to take everything for face value - Not like most PTs out there sweetheart who just wanna take ya money! In the short space of time I've known him not only has he helped me begin to reach my goal, but see myself in a more positive way. We all don't have the cleanest of histories and he never hid that, but he's shown me that anyone through hard work, persistence and the right mindset and turn their life around. Giving advice - if I took it on board it didn't that's on me, but when I did I literally did see results soon after - on techniques, nutrition and the importance of sleep. Can somebody say abs coming through, shoulders looker stronger, legs pressing heavier weights with ease now! 

11. My own place. Granted it's a rental property, but I've managed to learn the art of adulthood responsibly and monetary balancing and budgeting. It's decorated how I want it, and I feel at ease and at peace when here. It's literally my starting block for the next places I want to live and my thankful for running water hot and cold, heating, food in my cupboards and fridge (even when I don't feel like cooking I have food), clothes to chose from, electricity running, bills being paid on time and neighbours who aren't noisy! 

12. My own car. I don't have to depend on public transport anymore, or anyone to pick me up or go when they want to go. It passes it's MOT and service tests every year. 

13. Daughters of the King. A small group (at the moment) founded by my friend in Derby. These regular meetings with likeminded young women have helped me through some dark moments in my life, through daily prayer and encouragement I'm thankful to them. 

14. The Jewels Collective Bloggers. Even though I've only met 3 out of them face to face, through the writing I feel we've all known each other for a while. To belong to a collective such as this is an amazing opportunity, and I still stand in awe of being chosen to be a part of it all. Even when we're speaking on the same theme, too see how this is explored from different perspectives has me in awe and I'm excited about the future of this.

15. SJ. Up until I was 18/19 I was seen as the oldest one, the responsible one. The older sister to others, having to be wiser and sometimes I'd put a lot of pressure on myself. That was until I met Suwen. I'd admit I was nervous meeting her for the first time - I'd see her in convention walking so confidently and gracefully (that's dancers for you) and think she'd never want to be my friend. But over Skype conversations, national events we soon become not only good friends but sisters. We had our fall outs but when we made up it was stronger than before. Similar in so many ways, and even at times when I didn't want to take her advice (typical younger sister attitude I suppose) she was there patiently. Literally day or night I'd message her about things I was going through and she's come through with advice that would help. And it wasn't always one way, I feel I was able to help her in her days when things weren't great. Watching the food network, teaching (but failing) me how to dance, cocktail waitress and agony aunt - so literally so much more. I'm just simply thankful for her life. 

16. My creative skills. Although not perfect, I'm grateful that I have an interest outside of midwifery and fitness. Sis Channer encouraged this when she bought one of my drawings of a lily when I was about 13 years old. I didn't think I had much talent but God bless that generation for encouraging young people. I have more to come, that will go beyond my walls in my flat just wait on it. 

17. I able to love freely. Not always a great thing, but I care deeply for people and their well-being. 

18. My health. Physical and mental. 

19. For you. Yes you! For taking the time out to read through this. You may not comment on this, or let me know you've read it but I'm thankful to my small collective of readers. 

20. My godchildren. Like an extended family members, and I just love each of their individual personalities. Isaac, Ethan, Dylan, Daniel, MJ, ZyZy(official GS), & Joshie- noticed that they're all boys too!

21. My Godsiblings. Never felt like it was just Gee and myself because of them. 

22. My extended family. Even with all their preeing on Facebook 👀 I still love them all. 

23. Sabrina. My my my. I simply just love this woman. Despite everything in her world that goes on, she always always always makes time for people. 

24. Toni. Talks so fast yet sounds normal to me now. Even on my down days she manages to cheer me up. Even though she says Northampton I swear she's from Essex 🙄! Love you T

25. Letifah & JP. The banter in church with eye expressions alone still has me cracking up until this day. Dominoes pizza night, films and being able to freely shade. Ahh. Wonderful

26. Kalilah. My twin with more energy, class and sophistication. 

27. The many experiences of 2016 that's brought me to where I am today. 

28. Lactose intolerance. NOW BEAR WITH ME ON THIS ONE!... Wait bear? 🐻 I hope I used the right bear ...

(Googled it and checked I did phew! To be patient) it's made me cut out dairy products which in the long run actually aren't that good for you. Chocolates at work (tho I do miss the creamy sweet taste), ice cream, cheesecakes, and much more - all of which left me feeling bloated and unwell. Which has in turn helped with my healthier lifestyle and eating. 

29. My sight No need for glasses/contact lens

30. My hearing - although not always the greatest due to a screaming woman in labour #OccupationalHazard

31. The opportunities to travel around the world. 

32. Different cuisines of the world and openness to try them all. 

33. My new friends from Italy and learning Italian. 

34. My ability to learn new skills - learning Italian for example. 

35. Thankful for eternal life. Now I get many people won't agree with me on this one, and that's all down to personal convictions and decisions but through my faith in grateful for the sacrifice made for me. 

36. Living in a place of free will and speech - which has its negatives too. 

37. Free healthcare service. 

38. Landline and mobile phone. I sometimes take it for granted I have these things and see them as basic necessities in life. #1stWorldProblems

39. Being a quick learner and being able to then teach others. 

40. Fruit and veg. Gotta love that stuff - even more so as I'm getting older #MommaWouldBeProud 

41. Netflix. Sometimes it's good to have a chill time of watching films and switch off from the world for a bit. 

42. Heena Cleopatra/Cleo/Ruth/Rute. Thanking Yasmin for taking her from me because I was gonna go mad 😹. 

43. The outdoors. The freshness of the breeze in the country, the sand in-between your toes on the beach, the hustle and bustle of the city streets I'm thankful for the outdoors. 

44. Grandad's pea soup

45. Museums & Art Galleries 

46. Mums fry up breakfast! 

47. Single-hood life. Don't get me wrong with this one - one day I do hope to be married with children however I feel I'm finally accepting in this stage in my life learning more about myself, and loving myself more so I won't accept anything less than what I deserve. I have the freedom to explore the world near and far, no responsibilities in regards to having a partner/husband, children or having a mortgage either. Although it gets lonely at times, I'm learning to utilise those moments with prayer, reading and basically doing those things I enjoy doing. 

48. Peppermint tea. Nothing relaxes me more then the warm minty flavour of this tea. 

49. My mini library collection. I do love a good book, taking you away to a different place for a moment, researching and gaining knowledge. It's all wonderful. Reading opens the mind too. 

50. Life. 

Thankful Empress,

OK!! Clearly a longer list that I set out with with but these are the things I'm thankful for - what are you thankful for?

Ever evolving empress 

Jan/17