Focus
Sinner Saved by Grace.
Alexa play the instrumental for Focus by H.E.R
“Me, can you focus on me?
NaeNae can you focus on me?! Nae?..”
I’m not going to sit here and lie to you and say I’ve been entirely focused on God the past few months. Let me be real with you. In fact there have been times I have made numerous mistakes, some intentional and instead of repenting (turning away from what I shouldn’t be doing, being genuinely sorry and not doing it again) I just continued doing what I wanted to and felt no way about it. I felt myself distancing away from God, avoiding His word, and feeling super convicted and unworthy whenever I went to church or where around Christian circles - so I did my best to avoid them. It was easier to blame me feeling down or crying on my dad being unwell, or my grandad dying, or that someone just really annoys me at work that to face the fact I let myself become unfocused and walk down a crooked path stumbling, failing and falling for things I knew I shouldn’t do. It was easier to avoid the deep rooted hurts, unforgiveness, past traumas and just be that slightly vex Nae all the time. I was focusing on looking good on the exterior that I forgot about the interior and my core (mind soul and spirit).
However during that time I still heard from God gently to just read a scripture, or start the devotionals I purchased. I had a whole stack of them I wanted to read but felt I couldn’t. I had practised avoiding so much that I just couldn’t do it. But being the stubborn person I am I left it until I was in a place where I felt so lonely, down and desperate for the face of God that He shut down every distraction I was using. I’d search on Instagram for relationship advice (already knowing the answer but looking for false hope/approval) or just sleep to avoid reading the word and getting intimate with God again. I noticed I was being angry again at any slight inconvenience, and my language was pure trash. It was after God spoke through me to someone else I felt the need to stop this nonsense and get back to his throne and refocus. (I found that amazing that even in my mess He still chose to use me.) In fact, nah just to focus and then focus more.
“Me, can you focus on me?
NaeNae can you focus on me?! Me yeah..”
In between finally starting the book The Turnaround God - Charlotte Gambill, and the first night of Headstart by WeAreSymphony (a prayer week) I’ve found the rhythm of focusing again. I wasn’t even planning on actually going to headstart at all - I grew up going to prayer meetings what was gonna be different about this one? In fact I wasn’t until I was having a conversation with a friend who encouraged me just to come to a couple of the nights. I ended up going to all 7 nights and literally every single one I heard God’s voice clearer and clearer as each night came. Seeing young people and adults so charged and on fire for God, and evidential proof of how he changes lives from prayer and focus for me back to the focal point again.
So simple. To just pray. It focuses your mind back onto an issue you concerned about, your family/friends, your enemies (we going to pretend like we don’t have those now?), gratefulness for simply seeing another day. Life can be so chaotic and with the fast pace it takes it can feel like there’s no-one controlling it and you wonder who’s the captain of this ship? Why are we in this storm??
“On the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side.” Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boat as He was. And other little boats were also with Him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” And they feared exceedingly, and said to one another, “Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!”
Mark 4:35-41 NKJV
They had lost focus of the power that’s within them and who they serve. We can be like that too, but I’d encourage you to regain focus through prayer. Regain focus through reading the word. Regain focus through fellowship - no more isolation. Regain focus through actually spending time with intentional time him - switching off the distractions. Not every message you need to respond to - side eye to myself - and just being still for a moment and focusing on what matters again. Well that’s what I’ll be doing, feel free to join me.
Re-Focusing Empress,
January’19